only sometimes
Asia Argento writes stories and novels, directs music videos, documentaries, and feature films, and appears in movies, sometimes with her clothes on.
invisible but intense
the straits times today described the Government’s hunt for the toilet-breaking, one-leg cripplin’, master criminal Mas Selamat as “invisible but intense”.
which is really a great line to use in the office.
Boss: how’s the project coming along?
Me: It’s going according to plan. My efforts may be invisible, but I can assure you it’s pretty intense.
this combined with another favorite Govt. line is simply unbeatable.
Boss: Why the cock-up? I thought you said it was going according to plan.
Me: It was an honest mistake.
today’s lunch
according to the receipt from marmalade pantry, i paid for 2 beef burgers and a sticky date.
happiness to children
Digg calls this picture ” Pikachu’s Vagina Brings Happiness to Children”.
Memories of My Melancholy Whores by Gabriel García Márquez
pg. 3 – The year I turned ninety, I wanted to give myself the gift of a night of wild love with an adolescent virgin.
pg. 3 – Morality, too, is a question of time…
pg. 4 – Inspiration gives no warnings…
pg. 4 – I don’t have to say so because people can see it from leagues away: I’m ugly, shy and anachronistic.
pg. 12 – Overcome by irresistible excitement, I pulled her skirt up in back, pulled her underwear down to her knees, and charged her from behind. Oh Señor, she said, with a mournful lament, that wasn’t made for coming in but for going out.
pg. 13 – … I had to raise her salary calculated on the basis of one mounting a month, always while she was doing the laundry, and always from the back.
pg. 23 – The only thing different since the last time we saw each other is that sometimes my asshole burns.
pg. 30 – The house, like all brothels at dawn, was the closest thing to paradise.
pg. 33 – … my notion of youth was so flexible I never thought it was too late.
pg. 38 – … but I maintained the same tone and made no concessions to the winds of renovation.
pg. 43 – … blushing is so disloyal.
pg. 65 – … the invincible power that has moved the world is unrequited, not happy, love.
pg. 66 – Make no mistake: peaceful madmen are ahead of the future.
pg. 77 – … I preferred her asleep.
pg. 84 – … I would not have traded the delights of my suffering for anything in the world.
pg. 96 – In the end, it is impossible not to become what others believe you are.
The Eternals by Jack Kirby
Collects Eternals #1-19 & Annual #1
pg. 82 – Blast this century of world wars, mini-wars, and guerrilla wars! Are we now to revive a cosmic war!!??
pg. 89 – Space devils — alien giants!! What can it all mean, sir?
pg. 93 – AAAAA!! The energy singes and scorches!!
pg. 95 – If you’re the devil, you won’t be bothered by a few punctures from high-powered ammo… if you’re a phony, I’d advise you to give yourself up!
pg. 115 – Allay your fears and suspicions, humans. Weapons are useless here. An open mind would serve you better!
pg. 141 – Gross female! You risk a flogging!
pg. 155 – Wonder of wonders! That monstrous mutate can think!
pg. 164 – These smaller weapons are useless! Useless!!
pg. 172 – Open your minds to more important channels!
pg. 177 – I suffer from deep wounds… But I live!
pg. 177 – Thank you, my lady — for not calling me — Monster!
pg. 184 – I’d rather meditate — than mingle with silly humans!
pg. 187 – Is destroy the only word in your vocabulary? That is a being from outer space!
pg. 188 – Did not the little people deal with Gulliver?
pg. 192 – You’re a cool one… Are tensions unknown to your kind?
pg. 245 – Do my eyes deceive me!? Is that a man up there –? Or some giant ape!?
pg. 247 – I salute you, deadly microbe!
pg. 248 – Mightier weapons than that have shattered on my vitals!
pg. 250 – We’ve been played for fools –! Used by a female as pawns in a delaying tactic!
pg. 257 – Each of us will perish in the blast. But we are resigned to this fate!
pg. 290 – He’s leaped out of range! This muscle-bound mammoth is capable of amazing counter-moves!
pg. 290 – Get out of the way… You have a lovely neck, but it can easily be snapped.
pg. 290 – We must follow him and quell this wild rampage!
pg. 293 – His grip is unbreakable! And he likes to travel!!
pg. 293 – I-I didn’t mean to sound like a mouse, but this is no ordinary street brawl!
pg. 293 – Life’s not Eden, Professor! The sun does go down — and darkness has its hazards!
pg. 293 – Release me, you brutal zombie! My bones can’t take this pressure!
pg. 294 – I-I have the distinct feeling that I may have to scream!
pg. 308 – He won’t make that easy, sire! Witness the fury behind those eyes!
pg. 349 – Your statement carries ominous echoes.
pg. 350 – … it is gaiety, not gravity, that moves this female!
pg. 351 – There are indeed mysteries within certain females which surmount holocausts and space gods!
pg. 354 – I do your bidding under protest! Your savagery alone binds me to your evil wishes!
all done
for reasons unknown to me, people i know like to ask me questions via email. i usually bother to reply but often, i don’t even get a thank you back from them.
so here am i, thinking up all sorts of nasty and revengeful things to do to make these morons suffer. but really, i’m thinking too much.
i’m done answering questions.
go fuckin’ google.
a diary
The Independent:
Haruki Murakami’s Norwegian Wood, his best-selling novel to date, has sold four million in Japan alone. In August, Harvill Secker will publish his latest book, What I Talk About When I Talk About Running, about the influence of sport on his life and work.
An added treat for Murakami aficionados is a diary, adorned by fragments from his novels.
Haruki Murakami
I swore to myself: Once I’ve finished here I will only ever talk to those people I really want to talk to.
do you know this writer
Gore Verbinski, the director of “Pirates of the Carribean”, on how video games are influenced by other media:
Do you know this writer [Haruki] Murakami? There’s a kind of dream logic in his writing that is very much suitable to games. Why does the red scarf keep appearing on the chair? You’re sort of haunted by this imagery. Is someone messing with me? Is this happening in a conventional narrative? Or are things in multiple worlds actually colliding together?
8%
Church affiliation in Germany matters, if for no other reason than it adds an extra 8 percent or so to your income tax bill…
Every year some 300,000 Germans remove their names from church rolls…
in and out
for some reason, i was thinking of inserting my wireless contact card to exit the subway. i guess, deep down, i just miss inserting things into holes and slots.
yes mam’
at holland village shopping center, you still see hordes of petite chinese women waiting hand and foot on caucasian women. they call it nail therapy, but we know better.
yummy chinese food
Tim Clissold, author of “Mr. China,” a memoir about doing business in China, described an evening banquet with a Chinese mayor that featured course after course of exotic food: cow’s lung soaked in chili sauce, goose stomachs, fish lips with celery, goat’s feet tendons in wheat noodles, ox forehead, turtle casserole and, finally, deer’s penis.
all too familiar
Let the government stay on top, we will live our own lives underneath it.
(via aldaily)
40,000
There are about 40,000 Chinese restaurants in the U.S., more than the number of McDonald’s, Burger Kings, and KFCs combined.
(via aldaily)
O Obama
a leading graphic designer’s take on Obama’s campaign:
The thing that sort of flabbergasts me as a professional graphic designer is that, somewhere along the way, they decided that all their graphics would basically be done in the same typeface, which is this typeface called Gotham. If you look at one of his rallies, every single non-handmade sign is in that font. Every single one of them. And they’re all perfectly spaced and perfectly arranged. Trust me. I’ve done graphics for events –and I know what it takes to have rally after rally without someone saying, “Oh, we ran out of signs, let’s do a batch in Arial.” It just doesn’t seem to happen. There’s an absolute level of control that I have trouble achieving with my corporate clients.
… Every time you look, all those signs are perfect. Graphic designers like me don’t understand how it’s happening. It’s unprecedented and inconceivable to us. The people in the know are flabbergasted.
(via swissmiss)
this explains EVERYTHING
Spanking Kids Increases Risk Of Sexual Problems As Adults.
Spanking Children Causes Sexual Problems Later in Life.
Researchers have uncovered another damaging consequence of spanking: risky sexual behaviors, or even sexual deviancy, when the child grows up.
(Note: the writer doesn’t believe these but he’s an economist who hasn’t met fearsome Chinese mothers.)
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