goals for an underachiever
Gene Weingarten via aldaily:
Some years ago, The Washington Post invited readers to come up with a midlife list of goals for an underachiever. The first-runner-up prize went to: “Win the admiration of my dog.”
milou new year’s day hangover
so milou had a new year’s day hangover.
playing with him in the morning just after breakfast, i grabbed the lower part of his body and lifted him up.
what a stupid idea.
he puked out half of his undigested breakfast.
not a pretty sight.
i am like the world’s worst dog-owner.
a serious dog
when i first fell in love with milou, he had the saddest eyes ever.
15 months later, he has thankfully lost that sense of gloom and doom.
still, he’s a very serious-looking dog, despite my efforts to teach him how to smile.
this morning, while looking at his solemn face, i told him with all seriousness: guard the house with your life.
he took a step back and looked at me with his intense eyes.
i think we connected.
tongue and a bit of mom
while i was fooling around with milou in an enclosed area at the village, someone smashed his face right into a supporting pillar of blk 14.
he later told his friend: i was looking at the dog.
i would have added handsome.
what a bitch
i have a “no-clothes-for-dogs” policy for milou. but whenever i’m tempted to change my mind, all i have to do is look at this picture and everything makes sense again.
when tv is bad for dogs
i went out for drinks with mr. tan sunday night.
the other alternative i had was to stay at home. that would be dangerous since i would have channel surfed and accidentally watched Miss Singapore Universe. i was afraid that my dog Milou would laugh so hard that he would choke to death.
antibiotic
feeding milou an antibiotic is incredibly frustrating. he always finds a way to spit it out, even if you force it in his mouth. so its scandalous how easy it is to accomplish the task by stuffing the antibiotic in a banana. munch munch and it’s gone.
banana-split stuff without the ice-cream and full of nutritious goodness.
water dish
before i leave the house, i’ll put a water dish for milou even though he won’t drink it. i leave it just in case i don’t make it back. at least it will help him survive a little longer.
not being morbid or anything.
that’s the way life is.
Poor Milou
My McDog had his McTesticles removed today.
For the next 10 days, he’s got a collar around him to stop him from licking his McBalls.
He looks like Little Red Riding Hood.
Not yet a man and his balls are gone.
animal talk
Watching Planet’s Funniest Animals on TVMobile with Mr. Tan on the bus,
Me: Sir, I think you should get a dog. When you’re lonely, you can train your dog to do things.
Mr. Tan: For me? On me?
*
I’m so calling the SPCA on Mr. Tan.
930 pm
Every night, at 930, my mother asks Milou:
Where is your girlfriend?
Milou will then run to the storeroom and wait for my mom to open the door.
When she does, Milou will grab his girlfriend by his teeth, drags her across the kitchen floor, into the living room.
For the next half hour, he will then proceed to bite his girlfriend and give her some love.
My mom will sometimes have to guide Milou, asking him to bite less and play more.
When the deed is done, Milou lies there panting.
It’s mighty good exercise.
My mom has to bring the girlfriend back into the room and the storeroom is closed, once again.
In my darkest hour, I sometimes wish my mom will do the same for me.
Milou’s religious views
I happen to love God, books and Milou; and when my passions come together, it gets rather violent.
Milou's campaign of terror has found another victim – John Stott's Basic Christianity. This is after he made a meal out of C.S Lewis's Mere Christianity.
Funny enough, Milou targets only Christian books – specifically Christian books given to me by Mrs Hunk.
I am undecided, at this stage, to consider Milou a pagan dog or a fundamental literalist who unashamedly views Scripture as "sweeter than honey" (Psalm 19).
RSS - Posts
2 comments