back in 2 weeks

Billy Joel:

Some folks like to get away…

what i said under the influence

the best part about masturbation is that it does not involve public transport.

friday’s breakfast

i cannot recommend the salmon and scrambled eggs on croissant at the sandwich shop – it was too cold, too soft, too yellow.

so breakfast was poor but at least i saw 2 non-Asian women locking lips in front of the hitachi tower office lift lobby.

that was hot and it made me think yellow thoughts.

it wasn’t hard.

what to do when a panda attacks you

CR:

The book also offers advice in the event of a panda attack. As the images above show, the following procedure should be followed: 1. Wrap the animal’s torso in a towel or blanket so its front legs are bound to its body. 2. Slap it hard across the face. 3. Deliver the animal to the authorities.

more than meets the eye

what my colleague said yesterday:

when the MRT came to Woodlands, I converted from bus to train.

my only contribution to society this year

I take credit, along with hardworking library administrators, for the singular copy of A Vindication of Love that sits on 128.46 NEH at the Central Public Library.

it is too overwhelming

Woody Allen on Penélope Cruz:

I don’t like to look at Penélope directly. It is too overwhelming.

that same night

BBC News Magazine:

In the book Gulag Archipelago, author Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn recounted how a fellow prisoner in the USSR labour camps told how he came to be arrested. At a local party conference, someone toasted Stalin and “stormy applause, rising to an ovation”, broke out. Even though the great leader was absent, it continued. “But palms were getting sore and raised arms were already aching… However, who would dare be the first to stop?

“Then, after eleven minutes, the director of the paper factory assumed a business-like expression and sat down in his seat.” That same night, he was arrested.

the good life

Robert Skidelsky:

Although real incomes in rich countries have doubled in the last thirty years, the populations of these countries work harder than ever and are no happier. This raises the question of why they are still on the growth treadmill. Is it because capitalism needs constantly to expand markets, and ensnare by advertising more and more people into useless consumption? Is it because economists have ignored the fact that, as societies become wealthier, positional goods — goods which satisfy not our needs, but our longing for status — become more and more desirable? Is it because globalization has made affluence too insecure and too uneven in its spread for most people in wealthy societies to ease off work? Or is it because we lack any agreed idea of the good life in the name of which we can say “enough is enough”?

unsustainable certainty instead

Karen Armstong:

In the past, many of the most influential Jewish, Christian and Muslim thinkers understood that what we call “God” is merely a symbol that points beyond itself to an indescribable transcendence, whose existence cannot be proved but is only intuited by means of spiritual exercises and a compassionate lifestyle that enable us to cultivate new capacities of mind and heart.

But by the end of the 17th century, instead of looking through the symbol to “the God beyond God,” Christians were transforming it into hard fact…

Religion was not supposed to provide explanations that lay within the competence of reason but to help us live creatively with realities for which there are no easy solutions and find an interior haven of peace; today, however, many have opted for unsustainable certainty instead.

you want the same from politicians and religious leaders but alas

Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman:

… the best scholars are extremely critical of their own work. They’re the first to point out what their studies do and don’t accomplish; they seem as eager to tell you what went wrong with a study as what went right. And rather than bristle under hard questioning, they usually welcome the input.

great memories often come from rough experiences

Shinobu Nimura, tour guide:

Once back in Japan, I organize parties where my clients can exchange photos and reminisce. Without exception, the best stories revolve around things that, at the time, were not so enjoyable. Often, people remember these incidents with such fondness that they eventually become the highlights of the whole trip. For example, we’ll never forget the huge storms that once forced us to hop onto a barge, or when our routes were forced to change due to a sudden conflict in a region. We even miss a hotel room that had frogs singing in the bathroom. Nobody, on the other hand, talks about the luxury hotels that we occasionally stayed in.

whose side is the designer on

Economist:

The ichneumon wasp paralyses its prey without killing it and lays its larva inside this convenient source of fresh meat, to eat it slowly alive. This is just one striking instance of the immensity of pain in the animal kingdom, which defies explanation except via the unyielding calculus of competitive survival.

i got hate mail!

i got this in the mail, courtesy of singapore power (i think):

they were trying to sell “a striking new fragrance made in England for scums”:

methinks it stinks.

three japanese phrases i need to learn

NYT:

chotto futtota?

Have you become a little fatter?

shiawase butori

happily plump

Kanashii butori kanojo inai kara

I’m sadly plump because I’ve got no girlfriend.

a single FAQ for a single

a single man, like myself, is often asked the following by colleagues, relatives and other assorted enemies:

have you considered _____(insert name of mutually known single welcoming female)?

one of course, could tell the truth (usually no — too scary, too bushy, too noisy) but that would hurt.

one could say “they probably do not want me in the first place (always no — too fat, full of crap and so so scared)”, but i’m experienced enough to know that the people who ask this question are not only deluded but tenacious. they will say, “you’re not” and let you go, they will not.

today, i found a great answer to this question, as i would for all the important answers in life, from a phil collins’ song.

the next time i’m asked, i would say with great feeling:

some day I might find myself looking in her eyes. but for now, we’ll go on living separate lives.

what else

Wired’s bloody lovely profile on Craig Newmark:

Should craigslist ever be sold, the price likely would run into the billions. Newmark, by these lights, is a very rich man. When anybody reminds him of this, the craigslist founder says there is nothing he would care to do with that much money, should it ever come into his hands. He already has a parking space, a hummingbird feeder, a small home with a view, and a shower with strong water pressure. What else is he supposed to want?

i truly am indeed

colleague (with a cup in her hand): do you want some honey?

me: no, this has been obvious for a very long time.

how a single man combats lust

a single man, like myself, has various strategies to combat lust.

one could exercise and keep busy. one could eat, so that one’s brain uses all the excess energy digesting. one could pray for divine grace and the blood of jesus.

but none of these strategies work as well as the one i discovered yesterday – one could think about ho ching breastfeeding.

a name for a novel

a certain Wong Kum Meng wrote in to the ST today.

nothing noteworthy about his letter but he has a nice name, one i would use if i were to write a novel titled Scream My Name.