it’s that time of the year to be grateful to the PAP again…

… because while the Prime Minister is away, Teo Chee Hean is the Acting PM, instead of the other guy.

ippudo singapore – review

1. give and take a dozen, i can have just about 500 pork buns in one afternoon.

2. the place spectacularly ran out of green tea at five forty on a monday evening. this writer speculates that customers may have overindulge in the consumption of this beverage to compensate for the Lilliputian food portions.

3. this writer is grateful for the 6 pack of Sapporo and the half loaf Provence garlic bread that sits in the fridge.

4. i mean sat.

Hulk dashes, not smashes (or Ris Low has a brainwave!)

Ris Low on her latest idea of a combined beauty pageant:

“It has a unique and special marketing concept as the show/event will have a contrast of the Gorgeous Young Lady, Hulky Dashing Man, Beautiful Married Woman”

whiter than white

the pap young leader was positively glowing when he described how his Party would go to extreme lengths to avoid any hint of financial irregularity (his words: “whiter than white”).

i told him it’s like saying hitler is ok cos he’s a big classical music fan and reads widely.

BT CEO’s Hawker Guide

Nasi Briyani

now you know why there are quitters

Law Minister K. Shanmugam:

This is where most people make a mistake…I have tried to explain that we are different. We are a city. We are not a country.

russian butter and asian values

back in the USSR, Russians know that when reports about the dangers of butter appear in the press, it was a sure sign that people would soon face a butter shortage.

here in Asia, when you read about politicians talking about “Asian values” in the press, it’s a sure sign that people would soon be confused with Confucianism, neutralised with sweet Namastes and sodomised as we Sawatdee-ka and bend.

don’t bend.

Commentary: To The Devotees of Western Democracy and Human Rights

For a very poor Editorial, Ho Cheow Seng’s To The Devotees of Western Democracy and Human Rights has one of the most devastating opening paragraphs I have read in recent times:

lap-dog sheet

william safire once referred to the Straits Times as a “lap-dog sheet”.

as an owner of a cavalier king charles spaniel, i’m certain that the dog in question did not deserve such a lowly comparison.

how old fogies can do NS

the prime minister, a former brigadier-general, is unwilling to be a platoon commander for aliens-turned-residents above 30 years old.

hence, they are unsuitable for national service.

it might have slipped his mind that Singapore has a superb track record of working with people way past their prime.

my humble suggestion is to create the position of mentor platoon commander for them, pay these old fogies (with respect) millions of dollars and let them serve out the rest of their days.

perhaps in war, they can be reading newspapers and doing physiotherapy while simultaneously bringing our enemies back to earth from their highfalutin ideas.

(Hat tip: TOC)

the eye is glass

A. J. Liebling:

A city with one newspaper, or with a morning and an evening paper under one ownership, is like a man with one eye, and often the eye is glass.

fear, revulsion and suspense at the national library

National Libary Board:

Both horror and thriller are genres usually used for Fiction titles. In Horror fiction, the aim is the incite feelings of fear and/or revulsion and there is usually some element of the supernatural. In Thrillers, the aim is to excite the reader with suspense and action (usually dangerous action, eg crime, espionage), usually with a climatic ending.

2 works of fiction are in great demand at the national library: Dan Brown’s The Lost Symbol (number 74 in the holds list, 105 copies for reservation) and Men In White (number 130 in the holds list, 124 copies for reservation).

guests of honor

a colleague told me recently that she did not understand my sense of humor.

i must admit – it (my humor not my esteemed colleague) is rather peculiar.

for example, when i attend events, i always laugh when they refer to certain visiting PAP ministers as guests of honor.

like clockwork

singapore is so highly-engineered that even our F1 is fixed.

a t-shirt designed for the men in white

i thought i dedicate this t-shirt to martin, who depsite all his qualities, makes mistakes like the rest of us.

even the internet does not want you to join the PAP

website also white white.

accessed 17 September 2009, 20:22

charities from the PAP’s playbook

i think charities should take a leaf from the health minister’s playbook and position themselves as economically-viable (prosperous even!) talent management agencies and not as no-hopers non profiteers.

here’s a hastily done spec poster for these visionary charities:

the health minister and dollars and cents

Khaw Boon Wan, the health minister, ends his blog post (via online citizen) on pneumococcal vaccination with:

Every child saved is a valuable addition to our talent pool.

I would have thought – every child saved is EVERY CHILD SAVED.

maybe that isn’t enough for the minister.

the follow up question will of course be: if the child is without talent, is she not worth saving?

Related: charities from the pap’s playbook

how is a mosque obscure?

ST:

THE Wireless@SG network has expanded to even obscure places such as a mosque, the zoo and the nature reserve at Sungei Buloh.

don’t give it up

Business Times:

After he suffered a stroke last year at age 73, Leong Fook Wing, founder of the original Sin Kee chicken rice stall at Margaret Drive, had only one thing on his mind. He summoned his son Benson to his bedside and asked: ‘Do you still remember the recipe? Don’t give it up.’ After being assured that the family recipe was in safe hands, the old man lapsed into a coma and died five days later.