could it be the whole earth opening wide


Miyajima Island


would you like to have me later

wisdom from a state-sanctioned family planning class (via aldaily):

You must always be ready for your husband’s sexual needs. If perchance he is watching a football game on television, you should be resting to prepare yourself, or else preparing your bed for the evening. If you should feel overcome by fatigue yourself, make sure always to ask your husband, ‘Is there anything else you need from me?’ or ‘Would you like to have me later?’ before retiring.

the day i made a deer cry

any list of greatly blessed, highly favored and deeply loved animals on earth would surely include the delightful deer of nara park.

at least a thousand of them roam the park freely without fear, thanks to their official status as National Treasure.

of course, i had to come along and spoil it all for one poor deer.

you see, visitors can buy crackers to feed the deer and i have gotten quite good at it, especially making the crackers last a long time (hint- treat the deer like women).

there was this young deer who was after my cracker, (wasn’t really mine, whoelse gave me a few pieces). it followed me and i let it lick and have small bits of the cracker every now and then. we walked for more than 5 minutes on a straight path before it finished everything.

so i said goodbye to the deer and left it there.

it then started to make these loud whiny noises (they are similar to women in this way). and i was rather embarrassed because there was this group of Japanese teens who was staring at the both of us.

thankfully whoelse was nearby and she had more crackers. i explained the situation to her and when we returned to the deer’s side, she was full of shit (the deer not whoelse).

she was shitting all over the place.

we led the deer back in the direction we came from. we tried abandoning her earlier but she made these really frightful noises and refused to budge. eventually, when we left her, she was still whining softly but trodded off at the very least.

i know i am a bad person. still, i hope the deer (probably a female) doesn’t have severe abandonment issues.