would you like to have me later

wisdom from a state-sanctioned family planning class (via aldaily):

You must always be ready for your husband’s sexual needs. If perchance he is watching a football game on television, you should be resting to prepare yourself, or else preparing your bed for the evening. If you should feel overcome by fatigue yourself, make sure always to ask your husband, ‘Is there anything else you need from me?’ or ‘Would you like to have me later?’ before retiring.

the day i made a deer cry

any list of greatly blessed, highly favored and deeply loved animals on earth would surely include the delightful deer of nara park.

at least a thousand of them roam the park freely without fear, thanks to their official status as National Treasure.

of course, i had to come along and spoil it all for one poor deer.

you see, visitors can buy crackers to feed the deer and i have gotten quite good at it, especially making the crackers last a long time (hint- treat the deer like women).

there was this young deer who was after my cracker, (wasn’t really mine, whoelse gave me a few pieces). it followed me and i let it lick and have small bits of the cracker every now and then. we walked for more than 5 minutes on a straight path before it finished everything.

so i said goodbye to the deer and left it there.

it then started to make these loud whiny noises (they are similar to women in this way). and i was rather embarrassed because there was this group of Japanese teens who was staring at the both of us.

thankfully whoelse was nearby and she had more crackers. i explained the situation to her and when we returned to the deer’s side, she was full of shit (the deer not whoelse).

she was shitting all over the place.

we led the deer back in the direction we came from. we tried abandoning her earlier but she made these really frightful noises and refused to budge. eventually, when we left her, she was still whining softly but trodded off at the very least.

i know i am a bad person. still, i hope the deer (probably a female) doesn’t have severe abandonment issues.

Beauty and Sadness by Yasunari Kawabata

27 – But he had never loved again with such pain.

74 – I’m afraid I’ll leave behind only things I’m ashamed of.

79 – Lots of women are unhappy, so they console themselves with delusions.

79 – It’s easy for a woman to go wrong. You can make a woman go wrong, can’t you?

80 – I want someone who can make me forget myself completely.

144 – Was Keiko’s right breast a somewhat spoiled virgin, and the left still virginal?

144 – Any man would be tempted by the thought of a woman deriving a different level of pleasure from her two breasts, and would want to try to equalize them.

163 – A man is the kind of medicine that gives a woman life! All women have to take it.

163 – Time flows in the same way for all human beings; every human being flows through time in a different way.

our guys can be pretty nuts

Stumper via the executive director soon to go over the dark side:

At the end of August, as Hurricane Gustav threatened the coast of Texas, the Obama campaign called the Red Cross to say it would be routing donations to it via the Red Cross home page. Get your servers readyour guys can be pretty nuts, Team Obama said. Sure, sure, whatever, the Red Cross responded. Weve been through 9/11, Katrina, we can handle it. The surge of Obama dollars crashed the Red Cross Web site in less than 15 minutes.

no request is too extreme

Bloomberg on Japan’s declining birth rate:

Each evening at 8 p.m. at Nippon Oil’s Tokyo headquarters, the tune “When You Wish Upon a Star” blares from loudspeakers. The theme song from Walt Disney Co.’s 1940 movie “Pinocchio,” about a puppet that wanted to be human, is meant to pull at workers’ heartstrings and remind them they should be home with the people they love…

women think i’m crap (and they’re right)

Bethanne thinks my questions for Haruki Murakami submitted to Time Magazine are “puzzling” and I should not have bothered.

Gillian thinks I have a “gem” (could mean good or bad but i’m a pessimist) of a question.

Sheila thinks at least one of my questions is “utter crap”.

hundred films for an ideal Cinémathèque

or the best 100 hundred films of all time according to Cahiers du cinéma.

and the top twenty are:

1 Citizen Kane, 1941, Orson Welles

2= The Night of the Hunter, 1955, Charles Laughton
The Rules of the Game, 1939 (La Règle du jeu), Jean Renoir

4 Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans, 1927, Friedrich Wilhelm Murnau

5 L’Atalante, 1934, Jean Vigo

6 M, 1931, Fritz Lang

7 Singin’ in the Rain, 1952, Gene Kelly & Stanley Donen

8 Vertigo, 1958, Alfred Hitchcock

9= Children of Paradise, 1945 (Les Enfants du Paradis), Marcel Carné
The Searchers, 1956, John Ford
Greed, 1924, Erich von Stroheim

12= Rio Bravo, 1959, Howard Hawkes
To Be or Not to Be, 1942, Ernst Lubitsch

14 Tokyo Story, 1953, Yasujiro Ozu

15 Contempt, (Le Mépris) 1963, Jean-Luc Godard

16= Tales of Ugetsu , 1953, Kenji
City Lights, 1931, Charlie Chaplin
The General, 1927, Buster Keaton
Nosferatu the Vampire, 1922, Friedrich Wilhelm Murnau
The Music Room, 1958, Satyajit Ray